Too old for babes

I am turning 33 in about a week.

This weekend, I realized that I am too old for babes.

Now let me be clear: I am not talking about women. Especially, smart, beautiful conscious women. I am talking about what I have been brought up to identify as babes.

I live in an area with quite a few undergrads. A bunch of girls who go to a local college (not UW) live next door. I have had minimal interaction with them in the past year, which is unremarkable because I am typically wary of interactions with neighbors. I have always been a little paranoid in this regard. Those of you who have known me for a long time might have an idea why.

These girls, having endured the same winter that i did, chose this weekend to celebrate summer.

It was like MTV spring break over there. First, these little bikini blondes, who are younger than my younger sister I think it is somehow important to note, set up an inflatable pool and a slip'n'slide.

Then, they played with waterballoons.

Then they broke out supersoakers.

And, finally, of course, hoola-hoops.

Squeals and bikinis all day long.

It was like a fucking beer commercial or a teenager's wet dream.

And?

I thought it was funny at first.

But I as the day went on and they were laughing, and squirting each other, and laughing, and splashing, and shrieking.... I mostly got annoyed.

I was trying to read on my porch.

That about sums me up. Already a grouchy grandpa.